Thursday, 14 July 2011

What a load of bollocks


Apparently the universe is 13.75 billion years old.  They've measured it.  That's how they know.

What if their measurement is wrong?  What if it's actually 29 trillion years old?

Or 1 minute old?

It depends on your measurement of the measurement.  Doesn't it?

Any measurement is abitrary.  We used to measure in inches and feet and yards.  Now we measure in centimetres, meters and kilometres.

Does it take longer to get from point A to point B, if it's measured in Kilometres or Miles?

Nah.  Takes the same amount of time.  Except .... time is a measurement... and it's not fixed either.

So.. according to all the science bods, the universe came into being 13.75 billion years (plus some funny squiggles) ago.  What was there before that?  What created the universe?  If it started 13.75 billion years ago,  where did it come from?  Apparently two protons bashed together at 99.99999999th of the speed of light and that started the whole thing off.

Where did those protons come from?

Errr... no answer.

How was there such a thing as speed of light, if the universe didn't yet exist?  There couldn't have been any light - cos the universe didn't exist.

It's like trying to measure hair length in tablespoons.

(or as my youngest says: going to bed when you're not tired, is like trying to draw a picture without a pencil.  In other words: pointless)

Does.  Not.  Compute.

Made up stuff.

Don't we want to believe that there's some theory that explains life, the universe and everything.  But it's like trying to catch the wind.  As soon as you try to categorise it, it's not there anymore.  It never was.  And that's the problem.  There's no such 'thing' as the universe.  It's an idea.

You can't measure something that doesn't exist.  You can't estimate the age of Santa Clause.

 You can't find out the address of Cinderella.

It's all made up.

Universe.  Made-up.

Age of the universe.  Made-up.

It's an interesting story. 

And one day, it'll be a different story.

and another

and another.

Not truth, just a story about a concept.

Like this blog post.  It's a story.

Everything is a story.  Everything is quantified and measured and categorised.

Doesn't make it true though... just makes it a story.

If the unit of measurement were to change tomorrow from light years to blars, then someone would have to convert the age of the universe into blars.


A man-made story.

Made up shit.

Sunday, 10 July 2011


This was an FB chat conversation with a very charming young man called Pablo.  He was very open and almost led himself to seeing the truth that there is no self that lives life.  This conversation was a delight.

Hi Pablo... so... peace, love and security.


That's what we all want as humans, yeah?

i suppose.. i know that is what i want.

And why not? But who is it that wants those things?

Pablo: mmmmm.... I
V: When you look, what is 'I'?

the person that i am
or my head
my thoughts

Can you control those thoughts?

no . i ve read about positive thinking.. but i guess that would be Not recognizing the thoughts that happen on its own
i m so new at this

That's good. You have no preconceptions.
You say that you are the body, or the head or the thoughts. What happens if anything happens to any of those... for example - the body is damaged or changed... for instance your body now is not the same as your body as a baby or a child is it?

yeah it is not the same... i just get scared or stressed
are you a doctor?

No, I'm not a doctor. But I point out truth - reality. Are you ok to continue?

yeah thank you so much for helpig me

You're totally welcome. So.... you get scared and stressed - where do those feelings come from?

i don t know... for example when i feel a pain on my stomach , a thought immediatly arrives and the thought is stressful
it comes from the sensation maybe
what is felt in the body
that sensation creates the thought

and then what happens?

then i believe the thoughts.. they must be true because i m feeling something unknown in my body
and then i just keep the cycle

What happens when the thought passes away?

not sure what you mean

Well, is the thought an actual permanent thing?

no it comes and goes
but i don t know where it goes
and i suppose
it comes from feeling what i feel in the body
but i m not sure

And where does the feeling come from - what produces it?

wow i don t know ..
this is very interesting

isn't it? Can you find something that produces thoughts or feelings?

umm.. i don t think i can find what it is. all i know is that they just happen they happen to me

What is that me? Can you find it?

all tht comes to mind is the body but but i am not my body
and i am not my mind
so who is this me???

There is a body. There are thoughts. There are feelings - they are all real things... whilst they are there... So .. yeah... what is the me?

i can only guess .. the me is the part that experiences the body and the thoughts.
but i m just guessing

don't guess.. Be sure. Be absolutley certain. When did this 'me' start?

give me a minute to think

sure take all the time you need.
I feel like you know something I haven't awaken yet too.. when did the me .. i don t know what happpened before I was born... so it could have started when i came to this world
when i was a baby

So how did it start when you were born? What changed to make the me be there?

Viv i don t have that answer

Why do you think that might be, Pablo?

maybe the way i was raised. the things i have been exposed to , have led me to the life i have today. ...

Excellent - that's perfect.

how so??
do you have peace within you
do you feel at peacE?

Well, because it points to the fact that what you believe you are is something that is a result of the conditioning and culture and DNA

makes sense

do I feel at peace... no, not all the time - because otherwise that wouldnt be freedom would it?

and wow the conditioning here in costa rica is hardcore!!
wow you say interesting things

Haha - I bet it is. Re feeling peace; If you deny one part of life, of reality, then it's not freedom is it?
If you only had peace, could it really be peace?

that makes a lot of sense
if i only had peace i wouldn't know i have it. maybe because thta would be all i know

Yes, exactly

i m so glad i taught myself english to understand what you are telling me
i don t find much help in spanish

haha - I'm glad too.

i feel like i am a mystery i don t know exactly what i am anymore


but i feel relief now that i m talking to you
thank you so much
for taking the time

That's great - I'm so glad to be talking to you.

it seems there are a lot of awaken people in England
i would like to find people like that here
to hang with
most people here always have something to complain about and it brings me down to be around so much complain

Well, let's concentrate on getting you to see the truth, yeah? Then we can see about you linking up with others


Can you do something for me?

i want to change my life
maybe i don t know anymore

Good! When you think a thought, such as: "I want peace". What is that 'I'?

you are asking me to define the I
the I is the one that wants the peace but what is that I
it s ungraspable
for the mind

Why do you think that might be?

i m scratcing my head
and breathing
this is so deep
the mind doesn t understand I

Yes it is, it is deep - but not in a spiritual, metaphysical way... it's deep because the mind has never been asked to consider before
what it means when it says 'I'.

you are right
that s why i m not sure what to say
i never asked myself that
i m crying

You are doing great Pablo, just let it happen.
Keep looking at that thought 'I' and see whether you can find anything in reality that the thought refers to.

oh my god i just started crying
i can t stop
not sure why
but i feel good

Why do you think you feel good?

i feel compassion
i looked in the mirror and felt compassion


because i feel like i was always free and i never knew it and suffered so much

Yes! You've always been free. Why have you always been free? I want to see you make that final connection Pablo.

i can t stop crying

Take your time.

but you are in england you have to sleep

No, I don't - I have tomorrow off and I don't need much sleep.
There's nothing more important to me at the moment.

oh i feel so much grattitude for you

Forget me (but thank you).. I want to know whether you see this.

yeah i m back
i was in the mirror cryiing again
i don t know why i m crying
but it feels awesome
i feell like i am free
from all the pain

Why are you free from the pain?
What is different?

something in me something bigger than i can understand i can feel something
i don t have a label
for it
what changed?
i was scared and burdened all day
and now i feel safe
i feel safe
my tears my eyes are so red lol

What is that 'I'? Pablo. Look at that.
What is it?

its everything

Is there an actual, findable 'thing' calle 'I'. Is there something that lives and controls life?


i feel like energy is passsing through my body
this is so big for me

Pablo, that's fantastic. It is big, but it's also very obvious - when you say there is nothing, has there ever been anything that can be called 'I' or has ever lived life?





has there ever been anything that can be called I
did i loose track

No. You're right on track.. Right on. That's it.

this is amazing
there has never been anything that can be called I... wow I am a mystery to myself

yes. That is reality. Can you see? That there is life, living.
Wow Pablo. that is amazing.

i noticed for an instant that my mind wanted to label me just for an instant i just noticed it
but i can t label who or what i am
i don t really know what i am

Oh, Pablo - you have seen this so perfectly.
That is perfect.

thank you
i wish i could hug you
thank you

Me too.

i never understood this. after reading all these books . but now something in me changed is greatg

You did it. You were willing to be open and honest and to look and see the obvious truth.

now i m laughing all of a sudden
life is not my enemy

Yes, all those books and blogs and podcasts will make sense now. Not because they are mysterious but because they talk about what it obvious.

this is so great

No life is not an enemy .. there is only life. This is my blog:

you are a glorious instrument
wow thank you . you are an angel/ how can i ithank you

Thank you - you too. My blog links through to other blogs that may help.

i will look into it..
you didnt give up on me
thank you
for going the extra mile
jto help me
i m crying again

No thanks neccessary Pablo. But there is a site that is ruthless in pointing out the truth that you have seen. Take some time to just settle and enjoy this and we'll talk tomorrow.
Do you have any more questions?
Good crying? yeah?

no no .. i need some time to take this in.. i ll go to the backyard
i m not thinking about illnees anymore
talk to you again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!q3
yes good crying

There will still be illness Pablo or not. This doesn't 'fix' life... but it is seeing that

very good crying like never before

you are and always were free .. because there is no you.

i understand
wooooooo there is no me.... i love it
i love it
i loveit

Tuesday, 5 July 2011


Life has often been compared to a film.  In that we are all actors on a set. 

Characters being played.

One of the sticking points with this analogy is that actors are knowingly playing a part and are speaking lines that they have learnt.  In other words they're not being themselves or talking their own words.

But it struck me watching a film this evening, that we don't get to choose the script.

An actor learns his lines and then uses them as part of the presentation of the character he's portraying.

And we think that we choose our script and actions and the location of the action.

We don't though.  In fact, an actor has an advantage... they can learn the lines, practise saying them in several different ways with alternative inflections and emphasis.  They get to get them right. To say them with the maximum impact.

We don't - we get one stab at the steak..... And we don't even know that it's the one opportunity. The script we get is pure improvisation.

Improvisation without there being the option of choosing what words to use in the  improv.  In fact we're not improvising the words, we're being improvised - made up as it goes along.  Life is a constant improvisation, with no actor.

We are improvised.

We are an improvisation.

One dictionary definition of improvise is:
To invent, compose, or perform with little or no preparation. ...

I'd amend that to: To invent, compose, or perform with no preparation.

Everything we do, and everything we say, is done without aforethought.  Even the notion of aforethought is done without aforethought.

There is an idea that we decide what we say - but it is an incorrect conclusion added after the action.

You know when you're having a conversation and the thoughts that you're having just don't match up with the words that come out? 

The words that spew forth from your mouth are no more yours, than the actor's script is his.

You're THINKING 'she talking a load of bullshit' and SAYING 'hmmm, that's very deep and intuitive of you, Viv'.

The words - the script - is no more yours than the actor's script is theirs.

Except they get to deliver it pitch perfect with the maximum impact.

Whereas, we falter and stutter and leave unsaid the things that are thought - positive or negative.

Because there is no actor in us speaking the words.  The words just get spoken.

And there is no thinker in us, there are just thoughts.

So...erm..ultimately the analogy is inaccurate, as are all analogies....

But it is the inaccuracy of it that points out the truth - it is the contradiction that emphasises that there is no actor in you that can consciously choose how and what to say.  It's the contradiction that shows you the truth of the lack of a doer, thinker, actor, speaker.

"All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players."  Will Shakespeare.

Far be it from me to amend the great bard, but it's more accurate to say: 

"All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely played."